Tag Archives: love

Week 6 Book 6: A Review of Taliesin by Stephen R. Lawhead

08 Saturday Jun 2013

Posted by in Book Reviews

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , ,

taliesin

It was the age of Atlantis, when nine kings ruled in peace and prosperity and the lives of their people were saturated with extravagance. It was also an age marked for destruction–a fate to dwarf the devastation caused by the outbreak of war after two millenia of peace.

In Taliesin, Stephen R. Lawhead slashes through the veil of mystery surrounding Atlantis. The story follows two main characters: Princess Charis, daughter of one of the Atlantean kings, and Taliesin, druid prince destined for greatness.

Princess Charis learns of her land’s impending doom and manages to escape, but not before Lawhead breathes life into the legendary city of Atlantis. Across the ocean, Taliesin maintains a vastly different but just as intriguing existence; his life linked to Princess Charis’ before the two ever meet.

A tale of hope, heartbreak, violence, and love, Taliesin is a brilliant intermingling of fiction and history. Though written in 1987, the craft used to write this story makes it timeless. Lawhead writes with intricate detail to construct setting. Though I’m not a fan of overdone scenes, the detail used here was appropriate. The palaces, arenas, gardens, and caers were of foreign places and fictional times, therefore it was Lawhead’s responsibility to set the stage, which he did well.

Characterization was also a strength of this story. Each character was introduced with distinct, memorable qualities, so that they became real people who inspired real feelings. Charis grew from a spoiled brat to a wise, determined and heroic woman. Her mother, Briseis, exuded wisdom characteristic of noble queens, and concern inherent in caring mothers. Annubi’s sarcasm and familiar style of communication made him easy to relate to and just as easily trustworthy.

Better still was the plot. Tension continued to grow and unfold as the story progressed. Though the fate of Atlantis was inevitable, Lawhead wrote in such a way that I continued to hope and root in certain scenes for a different outcome than what was expected. Backstory was well-timed and so well written that it kept the story flowing despite pumping in details of the past. Even stories within the story were interesting, and everything–however subtle–had its purpose in the final product.

In short, Taliesin was a phenomenal novel written with excellence. I haven’t been this excited by a work of fiction in a long time, a fact which earned it five out of five stars. Though I’m sad it’s over, I’m beside myself happy that it’s the first in a series, and I can’t wait to get my hands on book two.

Click here for the list of the remaining books: Seven Books in Seven Weeks: The List .

Marriage Part III: The Wife’s Role

03 Friday May 2013

Posted by in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands, that even if some do not obey the Word, they, without a word, may be won by the conduct of their wives. (1 Peter 3:1)

Such a teaching is so unpopular these days that to abide by it seems to warrant a guilty-like confession of some antiquated wrongdoing: 

Hi. My name is Tanara McCauley. And I submit to my husband.

I haven’t always done so, and I certainly don’t always do it well. In fact, sometimes my behavior is such that my husband deserves an early morning disclaimer, “You may as well head on up to the rooftop because it’s gonna be one of those days.” (Better to dwell in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman. Proverbs 21:9)

Over the years, however, I’ve learned some crucial and sometimes hard lessons about what it takes to make my marriage persevere, to make it joyful, fulfilling, and something beautiful. And part of that is abiding in the role that God ordained for me as a wife–not one that He reduced to me to, but one that He made specifically for me to thrive in with the gifts and qualities He imparted to me.

  1. Lesson 1: It’s not a competition~
    Marriage does require give and take, but it shouldn’t be executed with a tit-for-tat sort of justice. Often the scales are unbalanced. A wise woman recognizes that the shift is sometimes in her favor, so that she can be gracious during the times when it is not. A wise woman builds up her husband instead of using his mistakes as an opportunity to usurp his role at the expense of his dignity.
  2. Lesson 2: It’s a oneness~
    This is a complex and mysterious concept, but its acceptance is vital in a healthy marriage. Whatever benefits my husband benefits me, whatever harms him harms me. We are individual people, but we are not separate. And our individual roles serve to magnify the greater bond that exists between us, making us one.
  3. Lesson 3: A submissive wife is precious~
    There is an “incorruptible beauty” which is “very precious in the sight of God” that exists in the “gentle and quiet spirit” of a submissive wife (1 Peter 3:4-5). She is not pitiful, she does not have low self-esteem. To the contrary, her God adores her and watches very carefully how the man who leads her is treating her.
  4. Lesson 4: Role confusion can rob you~
    We recently faced a major life decision that we couldn’t make heads or tails of. At one point we were ready to leap before we had true assurance of God’s will. We knew God wasn’t going to punish us if we didn’t get it right. Yet, before we acted in haste we came to the realization: What if option A is like being on the lake, while option B is meant to be the beach? (My husband’s dream is to live near the beach someday). Swapping roles in marriage kind of works the same way. It can function, but it’s a much lesser version of the grand plan God designed for it. The fireworks dim to a candle’s flicker, the masterpiece painting is replaced with a copy.
  5. Lesson 5: The end goal is eternal life~
    I’ll admit I have a wonderful husband; and I know this is not something every woman can say. Submitting to someone who’s not only less than perfect, but even less than our idea of barely competent seems like more of a burden than anyone should be asked to bear. But consider this: Christ, perfect and worthy in every way, submitted Himself to a humiliating death on the cross for an ungrateful, unloving, and unworthy world. Whether my husband is at his best, or, God help him, about-faces and walks contrary to the Word of God, what is my life, my happiness, my rights, compared to the salvation of the one whom my soul loves (Song of Solomon 3:4)? If for this reason alone, I accept my role gladly, submitting to my husband as unto the Lord, to the glory of Him who called me to do so.

Your turn: What are your thoughts on marriage roles? How have they worked in your marriage?

Guest Blog Opportunity: If you are a man who would like to guest blog on the Christian husband’s role, with some examples of how the principles work in your own marriage please send an email to tanara@tanaramccauley.com.

Click here for Marriage Part I: The Model, Click here for Marriage Part II: The Choice

Marriage Part II: The Choice

10 Wednesday Apr 2013

Posted by in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

200368976-001

Imagine you’re two months away from walking down the aisle. You’ve dated your fiancée for two years, been engaged for four months, attended pre-marital counseling for three of those months, and it’s only now that you’ve been forced to look at possibly the hardest choice you’ll ever make…using a different set of rules.

I’m not sure how you would feel, but I was anxious and something short of terrified as I stared at the latest (and last) assignment my worship pastor had given us.

We had to do it individually and it went something like this:

The choice to get married is not the most important decision you are making at this point.

Um. Yes it is.

Lost-in-love feelings aside, write down the things about your intended that you absolutely cannot stand. Now write down the little things that simply irk you. Write down things that may not necessarily bug you but that you can identify as character flaws. Write down his weaknesses. Make sure your list is complete before you proceed with the rest of this assignment. (If you don’t have enough information to make this list then this assignment, and marriage, are not right for you at this time).

It took me a good few hours to get that list done. Not because my fiancée had a rap sheet of bad qualities, but because the assignment bothered me for a number of reasons:

  1. I didn’t like badmouthing him, especially on paper.
  2. Compiling a list of complaints made me feel harsh and gave me a general feeling of discomfort.
  3. I was getting married for goodness sake! Let me wallow in the euphoria of it.
  4. Somewhere he was compiling his own list about me (and did I ever want to get my hands on it).
  5. People grow and mature over time. Surely not all of the things on my list would be relevant to my marriage five to ten years down the road.

Or would they? Back to the assignment:

Expect none of these things to change. In fact, at least half of them will probably get worse over the years.

WHAT?

With that in mind, look over your list again. Can you live with everything on it, day in and day out, for the rest of your life? Can you truly love him at his worst? Can you remain loyal to your commitment, faithful to your covenant, steadfast in your decision to join your life with his, even if not a single thing on that list ever changes? Even if problems not currently associated with your idea of a perfect marriage find themselves in yours? Search your heart, pray without ceasing, and do not answer lightly. Then decide if the wedding is still on.

I needed a good joke to lighten the mood right about then.

I had never doubted if my fiancée was who I wanted to marry. I loved him, had prayed for, about, and with him. I trusted him and had dated him long enough to see what kind of man he was; and now I was facing this ugly, twisted way of analyzing him as my choice.

And that’s when I realized the point of the assignment: The choice to get married is not the most important decision you are making at this point.

Examining my fiancée’s not-so-great qualities was more about examining myself. What would I do when the love “feeling” scattered like clouds pushed by a gusty wind–as it can sometimes do–and left in its wake a bird’s-eye view of his flaws in all their glory. Was my love for him a feeling? Or would it be a choice?

Would I choose to love him with that agape type love that is selfless (putting him before myself), unconditional (not based on how I feel or whether he’s deserving), sacrificial (willing to give all), and constant (his for the rest of our lives)? As much in love as I felt at that moment, if I couldn’t answer “yes” to that question, then I was being counseled not to go through with the wedding.

Because that’s the kind of love a lasting marriage requires.

I took much longer searching my heart and praying without ceasing than I did compiling that list. And in the end it was not a choice I made lightly.

And even though I never got a look at that other list, whatever was on it didn’t keep him from making the same choice I made. We’ve been making choices together now for almost eleven years.

What about you? Are you contemplating marriage? And if you’re married, what was the hardest choice in your decision to marry?

Click here for Marriage Part I: The Model, Click here fore Marriage Part III: The Wife’s Role, Click here for Marriage part IV: The Christian Husband

My Iron Sharpener

25 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

A friend loves at all times… (Proverbs 17:17)

SAMSUNG DIGITAL CAMERA

Ten years ago she stood behind me fastening the last clasp on my wedding dress. She adjusted my veil, told me I looked beautiful, then reminded me of the signal I was supposed to use if – before the “I do’s” – I had a single doubt about my committment to a lifetime kind of love.

This morning she leaned across the middle console of my truck and gave me a tight squeeze, then rushed with her family through the airport doors to catch their flight home.

My best friend. My iron sharpener (Proverbs 27:17).

Our weekend was spent staying up far too late while indulging in sweets like ice cream bars and vanilla scones. And while we laughed and vented about the adventures of our separate family lives and all the happenings we’ve missed out on since we last saw each other, we parted encouraging one another in our roles as wives, mothers, and daughters of the Most High God.

Facebook friends are one thing. Pew pals another. Twitter ties…they’re cool.

But a true friend, the kind who loves at all times – even when you’re hard-headed and difficult to love – is a rare and precious gift. A gift worth thanking God for.

Who’s your forever friend deserving of thanks right now?

Two Are Better…

31 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Tears are never as bleak when there is someone to wipe them away…

two_are_better

Parents Just Don’t Understand!

14 Monday Jan 2013

Posted by in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics, Writing and Pursuing Publication

≈ 2 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , , ,

“When you become a parent you’ll understand.”

Most of us hear this infamous prediction as teenagers. It typically comes on the heels of what we feel is some great injustice to our independence and the ability to express ourselves as soon-to-be-adults. We twist our mouths as if sucking on a lime, mutter a reply we wouldn’t dare say loud enough to hear, and stalk away swearing to never be so misunderstanding of our own offspring when we grow up to be parent of the century.

Then, the inevitable happens.

We become parents…and we understand.

Iselle

Almost nothing sparks my anxiety like thoughts about my children and their futures:

  • Will they be safe?
  • Will they make good choices?
  • Will their character look the same away from me as it does in front of me?
  • What about their relationship with Christ? Will it be true and not just the outward, surface stuff?
  • And uh…are arranged marriages really all that bad?

The list is endless. And though my personal world brightened and expanded with the arrival of each child, my eyes were opened to the much more sinister side of the world that parents see and know-everything teenagers don’t. And that’s a frightening thing to behold.

youngmom

But to parent in fear is not an option. So, growing from new mom to wiser mom, to mom who understands, I’ve learned to shower my children with the fun side of love:

  • Planting kisses like it’s target practice
  • Putting the smack-down in Monopoly (and yes, I play to win)
  • Late night weekends of Super Mario and experimenting with baked goods
  • Afternoons of indulging in their particular interests

155

DSC05965

But I’ve also learned not to neglect the difficult side to love:

  • Saying “no” when it’s necessary,
  • Dishing out hard-earned discipline (can I get a “whew!”)
  • Stepping aside to let them learn from an experienced mistake what a lecture won’t teach them
  • Trusting them to make age-appropriate decisions and accomplish more on their own
  • Taking the risk of being disliked for a day–or even a time–when to be liked would mean to permit something not in their best interests

DSC06162

It’s definitely not an exact science, and what works for one child might get you laughed at by another. Not to mention even as an adult you still don’t know everything and will make mistakes along the way. But when your kids know they’re loved, even if they don’t agree with your choices, they’ll learn not to resent the love that motivates how you parent. And eventually, they too will understand.

DSC06809

DSC07149

Have Compassion…Sponsor a Child

09 Sunday Sep 2012

Posted by in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

≈ Leave a comment

Tags

, , , , , ,

Have you never had the urge to Sponsor a Child? I won’t pretend to know why the average person is turned off by the countless child sponsorship advertisements. It could be the depressing feeling one gets when they see such poverty and despair. Or the assumption that their efforts will most likely not make a difference.

It might even be the flies.

I can’t stand flies, even if they’re swarming around some other person on my television. So the desire to focus one’s attention in a more positive, fly-free direction is understandable.

But there’s another side to it. Though the hunger and poverty are real, I want to focus today on the positive aspects of sponsoring a child. Simply put–the children!

My family and I sponsor three children in three different countries. Because we have two daughters and one son in our home, we sponsor two boys and one girl to even up the playing team. And I can tell you from experience, our lives are better for it.

Our sponsor son in Rwanda is a mellow, direct little fellow. He writes what he means for you to hear. No fluff. Good stuff.

Our sponsor daughter in Bolivia is mature and soft-hearted. Her sweetness is felt in every letter we get from her. And over the years my heart aches more and more to just squeeze some of this love into that girl one day.

Our sponsor son in the Philippines is a happy, energetic, bold, charismatic, HANDFUL! Every picture has a different pose which says “It’s me again!” and “How you like me now?” He keeps us the busiest, since he once wrote to us that he “checks every day to see if he has any letters.” He also has burrowed his way deep into our hearts. There’s nothing like having a little boy who’s never seen you tell you “I miss you” in a letter.

Our sponsor children exist beyond the pictures and have become an important part of our extended family. We love them. And love beyond the boundaries that were drawn in your natural family is nothing short of a blessing.

Better still is the knowledge that your sponsorship drastically improves their quality of life and their ability to enjoy it as children.

I challenge you to look beyond whatever preconceived notions you have about child sponsorship, and just experience the adventure of sponsoring a child. Write the letters, let them know you’re interested in them–what they like, what they care about, what they do; and they’ll quickly pop up out of their shy little boxes to show you how much more they’re interested in you.

Then watch a love unfold and grow that you never knew was possible.

Visit the Compassion website and Sponsor a Child today.

Remember (A Song)

18 Friday May 2012

Posted by in Short Stories, Songs, and Poetry

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

, , , , , , , , , ,

Let Me Clarify:

I’ve never considered myself a songwriter. Not officially anyway. Sure I sing songs – louder and more ambitiously than I’ll ever be capable of doing well – in the safety of my home’s four walls. And if I particularly like one, or seven, or thirty, I’ll write them down. It’s a form of worship, one that’s spontaneous and rich with the immediate needs, feelings, or joys contained in the heart. And no matter how bad it sounds, the Lord loves it. It’s His Word and His love that inspire me to sing Him new songs.

What He doesn’t require is for me to do it publicly. But this song was born under special circumstances, and as such required a special response. It was inspired by something very personal; but grew into something I could not claim as mine alone. Somewhere there’s someone, or many, who need to be reminded of who God is, what He does, and how He has given us the greatest gift He could ever give. Of all the things worth remembering on this difficult adventure of life, He’s the most worthy.

The Story of Remember:

As I mentioned Remember was inspired by a very personal and difficult trial so unexpected and with the potential for such destruction that I despaired. I had to admit to the Lord that although He is trustworthy, my heart did not feel trusting. I prayed for a supernatural ability to trust with everything in me, even if my feelings weren’t on board. He and I had an emotional, very transparent conversation that day. And while I prayed, He began to bring to mind all the things – great and small, practical and miraculous – He has done for me.

His Voice spoke to my heart: Remember this? Remember this? And what about this?

And I remembered verses that proclaim who He is: “I am your shield. Your exceedingly great reward.” (Genesis 15:1)

The walls of doubt and the lack of faith began to crumble around me. And emboldened by His nearness – not testing Him but rather feeling very encouraged by His presence – I asked Him specifically, “Today, Father. Take it today.” And in a way that blew my mind, that very same day, He took it.

Writing it Down:

Shortly after, my husband responded to a request from our pastor to give the message that coming Sunday. The message God put on his heart? Remembering what God has done for us. If that didn’t raise one of my eyebrows slightly higher than the other. Knowing my husband (who’s a people person if you ever met one) can come undone when required to speak in an official capacity before a crowd of more than two, I asked jokingly if he wanted me to sing a song to go along with his sermon. I thought it a fitting quip since he’d already confessed his plan to, “Get up there, do a couple cartwheels, stutter, and walk off the stage.”

But he soon put the jokes aside and put me on the program. If he had to cling tight to God and internally pray his way through nerves for two services, what better tangible support than to have his helpmate do the same?

I wrote the song based on that prayer time I had with God. Though I’d resolved to sing a shorter version of it a cappella (since I know zero about writing music or playing instruments) my dear friend Carissa (the violinist) volunteered her husband Chris (the pianist) to come up with the music for it. To wind this story up, I sang it for Chris twice, he came up with that awesome arrangement, and here we are practicing it before church starts. It’s certainly not a perfect rendition. But we encourage you all to look beyond the flaws and imperfections, and remember Him who is flawless and perfect in every way.

God bless you.