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Tanara McCauley

~ Love Knows Color

Tanara McCauley

Tag Archives: tragedy

Who Are You?

01 Wednesday Jul 2015

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

≈ 5 Comments

Tags

Christ, Christian, conflict, david, faith, fear of the Lord, forgiveness, grace, healing, name, relationships, Sampson, Sarah, solomon, tested faith, tragedy

Mirror in desert

“Search me, O God and know my heart; try me, and know my anxieties; and see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.”
Psalm 139:23-24

I’ve had recent cause to suffer a great amount of indignation over a situation involving a loved one.

Though I’ll spare the details, I’ll share what I learned from the experience.

I think I know myself pretty well. When conflict arises I tend to avoid confrontation, pray about most things and ignore others. If particularly agitated I may vent, but otherwise I try to take the high road.

Not so in this case–in heart anyway. By the grace of God I kept my mouth shut, because there were a million things I wanted to say, a billion ways I wanted to react, few of them godly. I was furious–an emotion foreign enough to me that I smiled when I felt it.

I know. Crazy-lady scary.

The loved one is dear to me, but not someone I absolutely have to keep in my life. So great was the affront and pain it caused, I considered walking away completely.

Then I noticed my husband. He bore the offense with grace. Though it crushed his left cheek, he gave his right to be struck. He took it with dignity, and loved all the more.

When I married him I believed him a peacemaker. He lived up to that belief. The same situation showed me, however, things in my heart I didn’t know were there, and other things lacking that I thought were full.

And though I don’t like this trial–loathe it actually–I see its purpose, or at least the good that can come from it.

Some of us go through life thinking we’re Davids, men and women after God’s own heart. Then tragedy strikes and we learn our name is really Solomon. We started strong but don’t finish well.

Others think we have the faith of Sarah, who believed God’s word that she would conceive despite her old age. Yet offense appears and we find we have her vindictiveness instead.

And then there are the Sampsons who walk in God’s strength with boldness, but temptation comes and cuts them down where they stand.

I was vindictive Sarah that day, and many days afterwards. I wanted this person to suffer. I knew how to strike back, and I craved to do it. But in the end I relented.

Because, like Joseph, I fear the Lord.

God, in His goodness, is constantly shaping us, revealing the character of our hearts, giving us free will to do something about it.

Despite our temporary failures, we can still be Davids, Joshuas, Josephs, Hannahs, Ruths, Abigails.

We just have to choose to be.

Your turn: Who are you?

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The Goodness of God

17 Saturday Jan 2015

Posted by tanaramccauley in and Other Topics, Faith, Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics, Relationships

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

arizona, basketball, Christ, Christian, faith, God is good, grief, joy, miracles, NBA All-Star, phoenix, prayer, tragedy

womanheart I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. ~Psalm 27:13

It was Valentine’s Day, 2009. The NBA All-Star festivities were taking place in Phoenix, and my husband Jon and I decided it would be fun to go as a family. We excited our twins, then three-years-old, with the promise of a fun-filled evening of basketball, cheering, and endless snacking.

We figured we’d buy tickets at the arena, since All-Star events never look sold out. But this event had. And the people selling tickets on the street were selling them at face value or higher.

$300. Each.

We’ve taught our kids about God from infancy. Trust Him. He loves you. Pray about everything. Know that He hears you.

And though we model these admonitions in their presence, praying about the tickets didn’t occur to Jon or me as we talked about a plan B.

“But, Dad.” Our daughter grabbed his face between her little hands and turned it toward the entrance. “We want to go in there.”

“We don’t have tickets, baby.”

“But we didn’t ask God yet. You said we could ask God anything.”

And so ask Him we did. Not two minutes after “amen,” a young man approached. “Do you guys need a ticket? I have an extra one.”

“How much?” Jon asked.

“Here you go.” The guy handed over the ticket, shook Jon’s hand and walked away. We received the rest of the tickets within minutes, all for the same price: free.

allstar

We had a wonderful time that night, and praised God for His goodness.

But sometimes the answer to prayer is no. Like the time I lost my third child to miscarriage, or when we lost my mother-in-law to leukemia sixteen months after her diagnosis.

Even in those instances, as painful as they were, God remained faithful, loving, and good. Because His goodness isn’t contingent on how He answers prayer, or even that He answers prayer. His goodness is one of His many unending, never-changing attributes.

A “yes” to our prayers is a byproduct of that goodness. A “no,” a byproduct of His wisdom. For He knows the plans He has for us, even when we don’t.

Divine admittance to a basketball game wasn’t a monumental life event, but it was definitely an eye-opening one. It affirmed that God cares about the trivial and the major, because He cares about us.

We can trust Him, knowing that He loves us. We can pray about everything, knowing that He hears us. And we can enjoy peace that passes understanding, knowing that the God we serve is good.

Your turn: In what way(s) has God wowed you with His goodness?

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Book Review of The Breakthrough by Jerry B. Jenkins

11 Saturday Aug 2012

Posted by tanaramccauley in Book Reviews

≈ 8 Comments

Tags

book review, faith, Jerry B. Jenkins, officer, Precinct 11, The Breakthrough, tragedy

Newly promoted Chief Boone Drake has endured more than his share of hardship. After losing his first family in a fire, being shot in the line of duty, and uncovering the betrayal of a fellow officer, The Breakthrough by Jerry B. Jenkins finds Boone in yet another high stakes predicament involving his new family. His fellow officers rally around him in response, willing to risk their own careers for the sake of their brother in blue.

Jenkins weaves a tale of fast-paced suspense so intriguing, he would’ve made even a predictable plot enjoyable. But the reader is kept guessing as Boone’s search for answers introduces new players and leads him as far away as China. Jenkins successfully creates character personalities that are distinct and believable. Although Boone at times seems more together under pressure than the average person, his response to tragedy fits both his profession and the precise way his mind works. Other characters play their part to create a community the reader can relate to–former partner and best friend Jack is loved and rooted for, while friend Florence is loved but annoying. The bond between the men and women in uniform is presented well enough to be felt, and readers will appreciate how Jenkins laces the text with the amusing sarcastic banter that is cop humor.

Meanwhile, Jenkins tackles some of the hardest questions about faith, particularly why God allows bad things to happen, and how does one continue to trust Him when they don’t understand their circumstances. A moving and heroic story of steadfast faith in the face of tragedy, The Breakthrough is a winning finale to the Precinct 11 series. And when readers tune in to find out what form Boone’s breakthrough will take, they just might experience one of their own. I gave this book 5 out of 5 stars.

I received an advanced reader copy of this book in exchange for my honest review.

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