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Tanara McCauley

~ Love Knows Color

Tanara McCauley

Tag Archives: humor

Soapbox Parenting

17 Friday Apr 2015

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

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Christian, communication, conversations, discussions, family, humor, life lessons, parenthood, parenting, preaching, raising children, relationships, soapbox, speech, The Incredibles

200147004-001“You sly dog! You caught me monologuing!” ~Syndrome, The Incredibles

Parenting has quite a few deja vu moments. You get the distinct feeling you’ve seen, done, or felt a particular something before.

Then it hits you.

The lecture, the kid with eyes glazed over, the adult droning on and on in an attempt to impale her listeners with life lessons. You have lived this scene. Only this time you’re the droner.

It happens to the best of us. A conversation about baking turns into an analogy for marriage. (Actually that was one of my finer moments. Performing a psalm on impulse that lasted forty verses and didn’t rhyme? My kids went to bed afraid we belonged to a cult.)

Children learn more from our actions than our words. We know this. It’s been proven. Still, we succumb to the urge to give doctoral dissertations worthy of official titles:

The Fundamentals of Sharing
Why Childhood Chores Ensure a Successful Adulthood
Choose Life: An Experiential Case Study Against Drug Use

We can’t help it. Our impassioned words warm their faces until their ears shrivel up and fold over on themselves. And though we walk away realizing we should’ve dropped the mic before the crowd turned restless, we also know we’ll probably do it again.

Because we love them.

That love sifts through events and conversations searching for teachable moments. Then off we go, portable stage erected, podium approached, throat cleared.

But not all hope is lost.

Because those young people we occasionally hold hostage via verbosity, they love us too.

And if we live what we say, and listen when they talk, and dwell with them–dig in and spend the time it takes to show them they’re where we want to be–they’re actually listening.

There’s more to parenting than five-point speeches. That doesn’t mean we should never speak. Our words have meaning. And with experience, we learn to use less of them.

The clever among us even switch it up a bit, making room on the box for a few corny jokes.

Your turn: How do you compensate for your parenting faux pas?

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When Mom’s Away…

21 Sunday Sep 2014

Posted by tanaramccauley in and Other Topics, Faith, Relationships, Writing and Pursuing Publication

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ACFW, American Christian Fiction Writers, amwriting, author, authors, children, conference, humor, parenting, relationships, St. Louis, writers, writing

As I gear up to head to the American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) conference in St. Louis, I’m tempted to fret over how my family can possibly manage without me. My husband is off work and my father-in-law will be flying in to keep him company, still I’m skeptical of two men being able to manage every group of the food pyramid (we won’t even discuss cooking it), school uniforms, practice schedules, games, homework, chores, gardening, an all day four-year-old, and countless other things. Not to mention what my two daughters’ very long, exceedingly curly, extremely thick hair is going to look like by the time I return from five days absence.

This short, fifteen-second commercial helped me to put the brakes on all that worrying. When I’m gone, things won’t be done my way. And that’s just fine. While I might find a few things to cringe about if I could watch the goings-on of my household from my cell phone (is there an app for that?), I’d also find my kids safe, prayed over, fed–with something, and happy.

I’m blessed to have a husband who supports my dream. And I’m grateful for a place to go where I can connect with other writers, grow in my craft, worship the Lord, and pursue the next step.

So St. Louis here I come! May the Lord bless, keep and protect my family, and every other family His writers are leaving behind. And for the moms en route with me, here’s to having things dad’s way for a time :-).

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10 Steps to iPhone Madness

13 Wednesday Aug 2014

Posted by tanaramccauley in and Other Topics, Faith, Relationships

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cracked glass, don't sweat the small stuff, glass repair kit, humor, iPhone, just for fund, patience, phone repair, relationships, ten steps, YouTube tutorials

  1. Drop phone just so, crack the glass.

  2. Decide cracked glass is functional. Resume regular iPhone activity.

  3. Take a nap while iPhone charges on the bookcase.

  4. Sleep through husband abducting phone and performing an emergency YouTube-instructed cracked-glass-endectomy.

  5. Wake to find iPhone in pieces with TWO cracked glass screens among the carnage.

  6. HOLD THY TONGUE, WOMAN!

  7. Approve the purchase of a second glass repair kit.

  8. Scavenge mind for passwords and phone numbers. Forsake the lot of it.

  9. Celebrate arrival of repair kit and impending iPhone reunion.

  10. Pray to not have to repeat steps 1-9. And kiss that man from step 4, his heart was in the right place :-).

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Ready…or Not: An Author’s Pre-Conference Petition (and Parody)

08 Sunday Sep 2013

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics, Writing and Pursuing Publication

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ACFW, agent, American Christian Fiction Writers, amwriting, author, Bible, Christ, comedy, editor appointments, elevator pitch, faith, fears, humor, introversion, introvert, onesheet, parody, personality traits, prayer, relationships, spiritual warfare, spirituality, synopsis, thorn in the flesh, weakness, worship, writer conference, writers, writing

In less than a week, I will kiss my husband and kids goodbye, board a plane, hoist my carry-on in the overhead compartment, and fly to Indianapolis for the American Christian Fiction Writers (ACFW) Conference.

I’ve worked on my proposal and one-sheets (all that’s great about your novel on one page), practiced my elevator pitch, become acquainted with other first-timers via a group thread, and have been praying for God’s will, whatever it is, to be done.

I’m ready…almost.

The idea of being among hundreds of other authors–all Christians, all with the goal of using the craft of writing to glorify the Lord and touch lives while doing it–is astounding. And I’m amped to worship with these folks.

I’m praying to walk away with a new writing buddy. Not just a “trade likes on Facebook” type of buddy (though I’ll take those too :-)), but a special sister I can connect with on that deeper level to take this journey with.

The worship and the buddy connection I’m anticipating are enough to have me so excited I burn calories just thinking about them.

But then I think about the appointments–those two fifteen minute slots I’ll have with an editor or agent (I won’t know who/which til I get there)–and I ask, “What on earth have I gotten myself into?”

It’s silly really, I know. Tell that to my beating heart. Tell it that those fears of showing up to my appointments and not remembering my own name (let alone the summary of my story in thirty words) is unrealistic. As is the notion that I’ll open my folder to pull out a one-sheet only to find it empty, or open my mouth and start selling my story…in Chinese.

This past week the nerves have put me in a very “productive in every area but conference preparation” sort of mode.

Instead of fixing the formatting issues on my one-sheet, I’ll look at my 3-year-old and think, “I haven’t updated her baby book in a while.” I’ve trimmed my plants, organized closets, categorized photos for goodness sake…anything to avoid thinking about that whopping thirty minutes of the conference weekend.

According to all that’s sane and scriptural, it’s ridiculous. The worst thing that can happen is I pitch my book and they’re not interested. Rejection is nothing new in the world we writers live in. So, being at peace with that potential outcome, why can’t I shake these “interview” jitters?

I don’t have a concrete answer. Some on my first-timers loop (my new peeps) have suggested spiritual warfare, which they’re experiencing in various ways. And it makes sense, since introversion walks a fine line between personality trait and personality flaw, and it’s definitely an area where I’m susceptible.

It could also be the weakness I have that Christ uses to tell me “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.”

And like I told my peeps, “Though I’d love to be that person who’s so confident and carefree their only worries are what places of interest to visit during free time, I have to say that my insecurities have made me cling to God and bury my face in His robe like a child stuck to the leg of a parting parent. So I’ll take it.”

Regardless of the why, however, the what is not an option. I will, for lack of a better epithet, “get er done.” I will polish my proposal, put some more practice on these pitches, fix this annoying alignment issue on my one-sheet, and, oh yeah, pack.

And I will ask for your prayers.

Pray for me that I will finish strong in my preparations, and that I will go to this conference trusting God. Pray also that He will help me to just be myself, to be open to and serving of others, to be confident in Him and joyful. Pray that His will be done.

And pray for my family that He watches over and guards them while I am away, and that He brings me home to them safely. And if you are willing, pray the same for the hundreds of others rowing the same boat that I’m in. We all need it.

Thank you, and God bless you.

Now I’m ready.

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Not Your Daughter’s Music

11 Thursday Jul 2013

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics, Songs and Poetry

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Tags

children, comedy, humor, jokes, laughter, music, parenting, relationships, singing, singing in the shower, songs

concertsinger

 

“Mom, you okay?”

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“I heard you yelling.”

And that, my friends, sums up my shower singing skills.

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