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Tanara McCauley

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Tanara McCauley

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What We All Need and Almost Never Get

18 Saturday Oct 2014

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics, Writing and Pursuing Publication

≈ 7 Comments

Tags

amwriting, author, Christ, Christian, excellence, fatigue, inspiration, motivation, rest, sleep deprivation, success, trust in the Lord, writer

sleeping woman

For many of us it seems the more rest we need, the less we get. Between taking care of my family, actively seeking the Lord, and trying to launch a writing career, (plus all my other projects and obligations) getting sufficient rest can be as far-fetched as finding out that book I’ve never pitched has been miraculously contracted for a movie deal. (Who says you can’t dream wide awake?)

But I know I need to rest well if I’m to accomplish my goals and take care of my responsibilities with excellence. Resting well is not just sleeping, but a series of decisions that affect sleep and the quality of our days while we’re awake. Fortunately, the word for what we all need and almost never get, serves as an acronym for how to get it:

Resist the urge to take on more than you can accomplish. I’ve been known to say yes to things I didn’t have the time, the resources–and sometimes the desire–to do. Even when I did say no, my hesitation would be pounced upon and a yes wrestled out of me. I’ve learned (and am still learning) to be firm in declining requests that I just don’t have the capacity to meet. It frees me to focus on the more important tasks, and saves me the embarrassment of having my husband follow right behind me to scratch my name off a volunteer list I just signed. (That has happened.)

Expect setbacks. Ever heard of a backup plan, plan B, or the alternate route? Those phrases exist because plans–no matter how meticulous we are in making them–get interrupted. When I went to the ACFW conference last month I had hoped to return home with a couple of proposal requests to work on. Instead I came home with a request for a proposal and a request for a full manuscript. Great deviation from the plan, right? Amazing. Only I came home to a son with pneumonia. I couldn’t take care of him the way I needed to without setting some healthy expectations for how soon I could submit my materials. It’s tempting to forego rest when there’s a hitch in the agenda. And if it’s for a night or two, I don’t think there’s any harm in that. But when we find ourselves getting just three to four hours of sleep on average, it’s time to make some schedule changes. Exhaustion breeds sloppiness. Consistent exhaustion is a health hazard.

Set aside quiet time. Again, rest is not all about sleep. It’s also about peace of mind and a restoring of the soul. For me this means prayer, or just stealing away to the place where I pray most often. I know when I go there, I’ll get some uninterrupted time to myself (except for the time when my youngest came in, misread my humble posture and hopped on my back with the command to “Giddyup!”)

Trust in the Lord. God doesn’t call us to sleep our days away, but He does call us to rest in Him, and to leave room for Him to show up in our endeavors. When we cram our days with activity, obligation, and busyness–and never give our bodies and minds the time to recoup energy spent, or our spirits the means to refuel in God’s presence or through His word–we are in a sense putting trust in our own efforts.

And God, who alone never sleeps, commands us to take time to be still.

Your turn: How do you manage getting the rest you need in the midst of all your obligations?

 

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Risky Embrace

29 Thursday May 2014

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

≈ 6 Comments

Tags

Christian, Christianity, contentment, embracing difficulty, gardening, inspiration, lizards, pests, purpose, reptiles, save lives, scorpions, taking risks, trusting God

lizard

I saved a life today.

Not intentionally, and not of the most precious variety, but a valuable life all the same: that of a fat, feisty lizard.

He lives in my backyard. And our relationship is…uh…complicated. (A vague adjective, missing all the negative connotations applicable to our feeble ties, but I’ll go with it.)

See, I don’t like him, but I’m glad he lives here.

He enjoys his home, but he’s no fan of me either.

So we do this little dance around each other. The steps should be fairly simple. He roams the yard at his leisure, eating bugs and diminishing the scorpion population. The backyard is his kingdom. Only when I glide onto the scene, he’s supposed to dip into the shadows.

Apparently human kings aren’t the only royal types to resist abdication, no matter how temporary.

He’s dashed past my feet a number of times while I’ve watered jalapeños or clipped rosemary. He’s perched on the wall and watched me with what I’m sure was a superior lizard scowl on his face. He even accosted guests once, running at them on hind legs with his mouth gaped wide like he’d swallow them whole. That little episode propelled my six-foot-three nephew over the fence in an amazing display of gymnastics.

Bad lizard! Bad, bad lizard!

Despite his nuisance status, I was more than a little upset this afternoon when I found him floating upside down in the pool. The sight of his sea-blue underbelly bobbing under the hot sun sent me screaming–water hose tossed aside–to fetch my husband. (Critters bring out my inner chump. Don’t judge me.)

As I waited for hubby to do the honors, it dawned on me what the reptile’s absence would mean. More bugs. Infested plants. A lost relationship.

Come again?

Apart from my awareness of Lizard’s usefulness, I didn’t realize until I thought I’d lost him that I’d grown a bit attached to the little sucker. But before I could work up a decent drift down Sentimental River, remembering with fondness how he used to bask under the morning rays (cue the music and a slow motion close-up of Lizard lifting his head to the sky), my husband brought the news.

Lizard, once scooped onto a flat pool-screen, righted himself with a fair amount of indignation, then perched on the edge to await royal transport back to land.

He’d floated motionless on his back to conserve his energy. That, and me finding him, saved his life. And I’m glad he lives.

Lizard serves a purpose here. Though I don’t always approve of how he goes about it, I appreciate the fruit of it. Less scorpions equals less danger. And he’s become a sort of wild pet, in a that-doesn’t-mean-I’ll-be-petting-him sort of way.

Sometimes the things that keep us on our toes or riled up now and again, are the very sources God uses to work good in our lives. We resent it when we really ought to give thanks for the difference it’s making.

Maybe it’s inconvenient yet improves the quality of life. (I hate that Lizard zips by and startles me, yet I love that his appetite for bugs lets my plants thrive. Thank You, God, for Lizard.)

Or perhaps the effect is more internal. (I’m terrified of reptiles–okay, any creeping thing–but I’ve grown in courage since Lizard’s been around. Thank You, God, for Lizard.)

If we learn to embrace the difficult–to be content in all situations (Phil 4:11-12)–we risk tapping into all measure of blessing and growth and depth of character God has planned for us.

And that’s a risk worth taking.

He’s still an ill-behaved, cranky, arrogant, bad, bad lizard. But he’s my lizard, and I’ve finally embraced him.

Your turn. Do you have a thing/situation in your life that’s less than ideal, but you see the benefit of embracing it?

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Twice the Miracle

09 Wednesday Apr 2014

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics, Short Stories, Songs, and Poetry, Writing and Pursuing Publication

≈ 21 Comments

Tags

Bible, Christian, faith, family, miracles, parenting, pregnancy, premature birth, religion, submission, surrender, twins

nurse

I could tell by the look in the nurse’s eyes she wasn’t sure I understood what she was saying. We stared at each other, she with one brow lifted in question for some sign of comprehension on my end; me drifting inside myself with a host of “what if’s” tumbling through my mind.

My twins, due in two months, would be delivered in a matter of hours. The medical staff had done their best to keep them in, and now they had no choice but to take them out surgically.

In part I was relieved. My son, whose water had burst five days earlier, and whose heart stopped with every contraction, couldn’t possibly survive much longer. But the nurse wanted me to acknowledge the risks of such an early delivery: long-term disabilities, breathing difficulties, jaundice, stunted growth, brain defects…and very possibly death. My husband squeezed my hand and spoke for me. Yes we understood. Yes we were prepared.

But no…I wasn’t.

I remember feeling so cold that the blanket tucked around my swollen body was about as effective as it could’ve been warming a block of ice. A new mother, never having held one of my children, I wasn’t at all prepared for the worst. In truth I wanted nothing to do with it.

In my mind’s eye I saw my children alive and healthy, growing and happy. From the first toddled steps to the first days of school; then on to camping trips, family vacations, and game days. That’s what I was prepared for. My heart, which others wanted me to coax into being ready for anything, was defiantly unyielding in its loyalty to the original plan. Come what may, problems and all, I wanted those babies.

But soon enough, as with every other time when my will has rushed to the frontlines of battle and tossed it’s proud locks, words buried in my core began to whisper what I knew all along to be true. It wasn’t my choice. And no amount of will could change that. Whether either twin would suck that first breath of God’s given air into their lungs, or pass quietly on to the call of their Maker, was out of my hands.

I had to lay before Him the desire of my heart – that He let my babies live – then lay my will flat-faced on the floor in submission to His, and accept whatever He chose for me. And in all that still know that He loves me, He is for me, and He is now and forever will be my King. As soon as I did that I had peace about the entire situation, and was finally prepared in the way the doctors and nurses wanted me to be prepared.

What strange creatures we are! What is it in us that makes us automatically think when we’re willing to let go of something we desperately want, it means we’ve already lost it? For at that time, though I still had hope, and I knew beyond doubt that God could not only let them live but make them completely healthy, I was internally cringing in preparation for loss.

I look back on that now, nine years which seem to have passed as quickly as nine glorious sunsets, and I can imagine Him looking down at me on that rather hard, sterile rollaway. His eyes full of compassion as He listened to the fears suppressed beneath my brave exterior. He knew I would love Him no matter what – perhaps He just wanted me to know it too – then He blessed me with two completely healthy, beautiful babies.

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twinsbday

My twins – His twins – turned nine recently. And as they reminisce over the fun they had bringing in the “big nine,” I sit back and look at them in celebration. Not just celebration for their lives, but also celebration of the worthy, mighty Father who gave them life. He who did not spare His own Son, spared both my son and my daughter.

And He is now, and will forever be, my King.

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Too Fat to Fly

23 Thursday Jan 2014

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

≈ 4 Comments

Tags

ambition, choices, Christian, danger, diet, discipline, eagle, faith, feasting, flight, fly, inspiration, Jesus, mount up wings like eagles, pigeon, spiritual understanding, success

But those who wait on the Lord…they shall mount up with wings like eagles.

The other morning I pulled up to my driveway and encountered the fattest pigeon I’ve ever laid eyes on. After the initial shock of seeing its size, I wanted to see it move out of my parking spot.

I approached, fully expecting it to get a running start then take flight just like any other pigeon would. But as I neared–even after honking–that pigeon stayed on the slow track to nowhere.

It made an effort of course. One leg seemed intent on accumulating speed, the other on just bearing the weight. The plump figure shook and waddled its version of a run–improvisation at its finest.

It had me captivated. I watched its sketchy shuffle until it FINALLY backed into a corner by the gate. The feathers around its neck were spiked in a show of fear as it waited, presumably to see if I would act.

I only shook my head then parked in the garage.

I couldn’t judge the obese bird, because it occurred to me that a lot of times our spiritual lives can take on the same shape. I know mine sometimes can.

We live in a world of too-much-on-the-plate, and often feast on that which is least beneficial.

While the things Jesus provides are enough, we continue on down the buffet line and add to our platters the delicacies of excess. A helping of recognition, a dollop of people’s approval, a double scoop of wealth and success. How about a chunk of control? Or a leg of perpetual leisure?

Before we know it, our indulgent diets become spiritual weights. Our eagle status gets downgraded to pudgy pigeon.

And like that bird, we’re rendered trembling and inactive in the face of fear; unable to fly, lacking in faith. Not to mention the effects on our obedience and the fruit we’re called to bear.

And yet…there is the Lord and His mercy.

Had my husband found that pigeon, this might’ve been the bird’s eulogy. But because I found it, it lived to waddle another day. I doubt it’ll rush to shed pounds so that–when it’s threatened in the future–it can fly away. But it has the opportunity.

Likewise, with each new day, we have another chance to get our spiritual lives off the ground. It’s just a matter of choosing what stays and what goes, and of making sure the stuff that stays is the stuff that keeps our souls lifted up to Jesus.

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Tongue on Fire

01 Tuesday Oct 2013

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

≈ 9 Comments

Tags

amwriting, Christian, disobedience, faith, forbidden, God, mango habanero wings, obedience, parenting, sin, temptation

ID-100188329

My son hovered over the boneless, tasty looking mango-habanero chicken wings with a gleam in his eye.

“Don’t touch ’em son,” I told him. “They’re too spicy. We saved you the others.”

He grabbed his wings, satisfied enough, but greedily licked the sauce from a finger that had grazed the forbidden ones. The small taste set his heart on a new course.

“Not too spicy,” he said, pulling up a chair to devour the leftovers his dad and I had doggy-bagged from our lunch out.

Sure enough, minutes after he’d finished the food he could eat (and when he thought I wasn’t looking), he grabbed one of the boneless wings and took a generous bite.

He put it down when he saw me staring, a sly “you caught me” smirk on him. Ten seconds in, that little eight-year-old head lost its smile, bugged its eyes, and hung its mouth in search of anything to cool its flaming tongue.

“What?” he asked me, trying miserably to save face. “It’s not spicy. It just tastes weird.”

Yeah, that’s why your words are coming out like you’re in desperate need of an oxygen mask.

He picked up a cup of water and tossed it back. A whole sip. For a second I thought he would take to chewing just to get water from the cup’s pores.

Saving face no longer a priority, he hustled his little self over to the water dispenser. No time to fill up. Just enough water. Toss it in. Slosh it around. Swallow. Repeat.

Like any mother worth her salt, I watched.

Punishment? If his tongue could speak for itself I think it’d say justice has been more than served.  No need for “I told you so.”

He learned his lesson. We can too.

As Christians we often encounter things God’s word clearly says “no” to. We don’t see the harm in it so we forge ahead in disobedience. We even go so far as to give Him our justifications.

And because we choose to ignore His instruction, we learn the hard way through experience.

Sin, no matter how sweet in the beginning, will burn the tongue that tastes it in the aftermath.

With wisdom we learn to skip the scorching, and feast instead on the blessings God freely gives us.

Image courtesy of arztsamui / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

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Have You Leapt Yet?

29 Thursday Aug 2013

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

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Bible study, Christian, encouragement, faith, hope, inspiration, trust

Nothing is more disastrous than to study faith, analyze faith, make noble reservations of faith, but never actually to make the leap of faith.

-Vance Havner

So the question is: have you leapt yet?

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Touching Lives With Distant Hands

14 Sunday Apr 2013

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

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blessings, changing lives, child sponsorship, children, Christian, Compassion International, Compassion Sunday, give to the poor, hunger, Jesus Christ, lends to the Lord, parenthood, poverty, proverbs, relationships, touching lives

Compassion Sunday is almost here. April 21, 2013 is a day of hope for thousands of children who live in impoverished conditions around the world. It’s also a day of opportunity for the rest of us–an opportunity to share our blessings and touch the lives of these children by sponsoring a child.

Proverbs 19:17 reads, “He who has pity on the poor lends to the LORD, and He will pay back what he has given.”

My family and I sponsor three children through Compassion in the countries of Bolivia, Rwanda, and the Philippines. Building relationships through letters, hearing from them how our support has impacted their lives and the lives of their families, and developing deep love for these children who I long to see face-to-face one day have all been part of the ultimate payback for us.

There is no blanket solution to ending worldwide poverty, but you can be the solution to ending it for one child. Visit Compassion.com and sponsor a child today.

Then come back next week on Compassion Sunday and sponsor another one! (Though I’m joking, by all means go right ahead if you feel led to :-))

And may the LORD take what you have lent to Him and do wonders with it.

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My Iron Sharpener

25 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

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all times, best friend, children, Christian, encouragment, family life, friendship, God, iron sharpener, love, maid of honor, mothers, proverbs, relationships, wives

A friend loves at all times… (Proverbs 17:17)

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Ten years ago she stood behind me fastening the last clasp on my wedding dress. She adjusted my veil, told me I looked beautiful, then reminded me of the signal I was supposed to use if – before the “I do’s” – I had a single doubt about my committment to a lifetime kind of love.

This morning she leaned across the middle console of my truck and gave me a tight squeeze, then rushed with her family through the airport doors to catch their flight home.

My best friend. My iron sharpener (Proverbs 27:17).

Our weekend was spent staying up far too late while indulging in sweets like ice cream bars and vanilla scones. And while we laughed and vented about the adventures of our separate family lives and all the happenings we’ve missed out on since we last saw each other, we parted encouraging one another in our roles as wives, mothers, and daughters of the Most High God.

Facebook friends are one thing. Pew pals another. Twitter ties…they’re cool.

But a true friend, the kind who loves at all times – even when you’re hard-headed and difficult to love – is a rare and precious gift. A gift worth thanking God for.

Who’s your forever friend deserving of thanks right now?

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Marriage Part I: The Model

11 Monday Feb 2013

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

≈ 8 Comments

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anniversary, biblical, Christian, great-grandparents, marriage, prayer, relationships, renewed wedding vows, role model, selfless love

I was ten years old when I watched my great-grandparents renew their wedding vows on their fiftieth anniversary.

Though any other time I would’ve been itching to get out of my dress and hair bows so I could run off and play, I was mesmerized by the love that shone out of those two faces who’d seen each other every day for the last fifty years of their lives.

My memories of them together are all wonderful, but what stands out to me is how selfless they were when it came to the other person.

Great-Grandma would drop whatever she was doing and head out to the porch to greet him whenever she heard his tractor approaching.

Granddaddy came home more than once with his arms sticking out like stiff tree branches from the bee-stings he’d acquired getting the honeycomb she loved fresh from the bee farm.

She called him Daddy. He wrote her poetry. They prayed for each other.

It was a marriage that spoke of the beauty of marriage without using words. A marriage so timeless that my Great-Grandmother, who turns 95 this month, still speaks of him with a smile on her face and in her voice whenever we talk.

Though I’m hardly as selfless as I need to be to measure up to the kind of wife my Great-Grandmother was, I’m learning to get there.

Some of the lessons are hard, others rewarding. All of them precious.

What about you? Do you have any memories or models that shaped your perception and/or goals for marriage? Have they had a lasting impact on your marriage?

Click here for Marriage Part II: The Choice. Click here for Marriage Part III: The Wife’s Role.

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Two Are Better…

31 Thursday Jan 2013

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

≈ 2 Comments

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Bible verses, children, Christian, collage, comfort, Ecclesiastes, encouragement, family, friends, frown, hugs, inspirational, love, mending, parenting, photos, pictures, quality time, relationships, restoration, siblings, sisters, smile, support, wipe away the tears

Tears are never as bleak when there is someone to wipe them away…

two_are_better

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