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Tanara McCauley

~ Love Knows Color

Tanara McCauley

Tag Archives: calling

The Cookie Jar

07 Wednesday Oct 2015

Posted by tanaramccauley in Faith, Relationships, and Other Topics

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academics, achievement, amreading, amwriting, author, baking, books, calling, children, Christ, college, cookies, faith, family, galletas, Mom, parenting, passion, priorities, purpose, pursuit, relationships, student, success, writer


“A cookie jar, though beautiful, will always disappoint if found empty.”

My cookie jar is empty.

It’s seen a batch or two–maybe–in the months since I returned home from Mount Hermon’s Christian Writers Conference; but for the most part it’s been unoccupied. Relieved of duty. Free of tenants.

And for a while I blamed my husband.

See, we had a plan. As you probably know from a previous post, my youngest daughter started kindergarten this year, freeing up my afternoons. And according to the plan I would take the first year to write full time with keys blazing and submissions flying.

But somehow in my short, five-day conference absence the plan changed. Just up and flew away somewhere. Out there. Over the rainbow. And in its place: “You need to finish your degree.”

Say wha?

My arguments against this new scheme raged vehement. Very artistic and author-ish too. Something about sensible suits and academic labels, the futility of human standards of achievement, the colors of my creative mind fading…you get the picture. When that failed I took the practical financial approach.

Nothing worked. God has a new plan, saith my husband, and a degree for the missus therein lies.

Well alrighty then, Misters.

That was six months ago. I saw evidence of God’s hand in the orchestration, including a ripple effect in other areas. Then I discovered I could finish much earlier than expected. I snatched that baton and sprinted off with it. On top of that aim I added honor student. And because a writer must always be reading and writing I made sure to check those boxes too. Super productive. No time for baking cookies.

I felt very much like degree people feel. Accomplished. Potentially important. But in what way? And to whom?

The answers came when my son returned home one night from Awana with a list of two things he wanted to do better. One of them read:

Leave Mommy alone when she’s doing homework.

SLAYED.

Reading those words made me consider how many times I’ve said them in the past six months, and how many times I haven’t played Terraria with my son, or done Zumba with the girls, or watched My Little Pony, or baked the weekend’s cookies; all because I’d immersed myself in God’s plan–stretching it into something self-serving–instead of remaining immersed in God who keeps my priorities straight.

My kids are awesome little people. I’m proud of them. And if I graduated summa cum laude and became a bestselling author whose books hit the big screen they’d be proud of me too. And all of it would be a pretty package to behold.

But if the intimacy is not there, if I don’t remain a present, attentive mother who knows them and is known by them–who keeps school and writing and whatever else comes up out of family time–then what we’re headed for is no better than an empty cookie jar.

And that will never be a part of God’s plan.

My jar is still empty, but now it’s only because the cookies are cooling.

Your turn: Have you ever found yourself running ahead (or away) from what God’s doing in your life?

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Shoot for Your Dreams

18 Saturday Aug 2012

Posted by tanaramccauley in Writing and Pursuing Publication

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author, calling, guns, perserverance, pursuing dreams, ready aim fire, shoot, shooting range, writing

We returned from the shooting range. My brother-in-law, proud of the design he’d put in his target, whipped out his smartphone to show my great-grandmother. She peered at the image, smiled sweetly, then patted his knee. “That’s alright, sugar. Just keep practicing and you’ll get it.”

At first glance, guns and dreams have little in common. Oddly, however, I walked away from my first try at the shooting range aware of how the principles of shooting were applicable to the journey of pursuing ones dreams.

Ready:
For a moment all I could do was stare at the gun. I know what they’re capable of and the knowledge was intimidating. But after a while I had to  show fear who’s boss and pick that gun up.

Likewise the fear of failure has sidelined many a dream. While you don’t know whether or not your dream will succeed if you try, you know for sure it won’t if you don’t. Ready yourself to take risks, acknowledge your fear of failure is present, then give it a firm and final dismissal.

Aim:
Call it rookie shooting. My target was close enough for the fan blowing behind me to make it sway, yet my first several shots only kissed air. My hands were shaking and my shoulders jumped every time I pulled the trigger. I was shooting all over the place. I took a deep breath, locked my muscles, focused on a direct location on the target instead of just its general direction, then resumed shooting. The first bullet pierced paper. By the time I emptied the clip I was shooting close enough to my mark to be taken seriously.

We were all designed with a specific purpose; and given gifts or talents that make us unique and useful. When pursuing your dreams, make sure it’s the right dream. Do a little soul-searching to uncover what you were made to do. What are you passionate about? What can you not stop thinking about? What, despite the hard work and long road ahead, keeps calling to you? Aim for it.

Fire:
You’ve evicted fear, narrowed your focus on your calling. Alright then. FIRE! Give it all you’ve got, wipe the sweat from your brow, then give even more. Don’t shrink back. Don’t doubt, pout, take breaks to throw pity parties, and most of all, don’t quit! Rejected? Take whatever feedback you’ve received and improve on your craft. Tired? Take a nap, then get back at it. If you’re on the path God set for you, it’s good. Don’t grow weary in doing good. Think back to that time when you felt more than ever that this was your purpose, your calling, your dream. Renew that passion and forge ahead.

Keep Firing:
Finally, the advice my ninety-four-year-old great-grandmother gave to my brother-in-law applies to you and I. Keep practicing. Keep firing. Keep shooting for your dreams. Even after you’ve achieved some success, you’ve never arrived. Get better with each new work. And give thanks in the journey. Now get out there and get at it!

God’s best to you as you shoot for your dreams.

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